Classism Through Distillery Access.

You can believe your brand is prestige if you want to, realistically it's a paper tiger that's waiting to fall apart. Luxury is the final scrap of glue to hold onto.

They say the Feudal System in England started to die out as the 14th century drew upon us. The Black Plague actually had a large part to play in that. Well, in our own little world of the whisky industry, welcome to the new era of Black Plague that’s been haunting us for a while now, luxury. It’s quite a shocking thing to be able to say that Macallan are better priced than you when it comes to anything, but here we are.

Dalmore just reopened their distillery experience after many years of being closed and huge renovation. It looks wonderful, there’s no doubt about that. They’ve got the scenery, the history, the fancy bottles, strange shaped stills, everything you need to bring in fans of the brand, as well as people traveling through the highlands of Scotland. Then you get to the website and discover that it’s £250 a tour…nothing less. Although keep that number in mind for later down in the article.

Renovations are expensive, I get that, but I feel you pay them off over time. A brand like Dalmore would have no issues doing this. Simultaneously, you’ve closed the door to so many fans of your brand. I’ll admit now, I’ve never owned a bottle of Dalmore single malt, it just isn’t my thing. Ten years of working in retail, though, I met thousands of fans of the stuff. All from numerous different levels of wealth and experience when it comes to enjoying whisky.

Shouting about being your tour facility being sold out for the next six months is one thing, you’ll have big time collectors, investors, etc, all wanting to come and see. It just also happens that the next few months is the busiest for whisky tourism in Scotland, so is that something to really write home about?

In a world of financial crunch, it’s going to cost you more to fill up the car several times to get to the distillery and back, but this is one of the most blatant and inexcusable pieces of marketing I’ve ever seen take place. You get access to a Concierge team to help tailor your tour, you get to try three whiskies from their whole collection, you have the place to yourself in some bastardised attempt to replicate the experience of Patek Phillipe or Hermes. This is simply outrageous. This is an industrial facility. It should reek of barley, yeast and soaking wet barrels, that’s the heart of any distillery. Although I imagine this has been suppressed to keep things feeling more luxurious by making the place look more like a modern art boutique. Rather than concrete holding up the walls, the place is foundational on pure pretentiousness.

Macallan, the brand who are easily at the top of the luxury tree have three tours that are either priced the same as this, or significantly cheaper. If I love Macallan and want to do a basic tour of that distillery for £50, I can. I can book, roll up, have a tour, get my drivers sample and go home knowing I’ve seen inside the distillery that means the most to me as a fan of that whisky. Things get more expensive after that, and having to book a slot to go into the shop at Macallan is ridiculous, but at least the facility and experiences are accessible.

Meanwhile, further up the road, I can’t go in alone. The tour has to be at least two people. So even in all of this, the minimum you’re spending is £500 just to get in passed the gates.

‘Tours start at £250 per person. Yes it’s spenny.’ Notes a rather well established whisky writer. Spenny? This isn’t even steep, it’s vertical.

The no colouring and non-chill filter crowd will also be looking at this and thinking ‘why would I ever go there now, even to try and change my opinion.’ By building an over the top facility that is decorated with art and light fixtures, you have literally removed what remained of any soul of this brand. It looks like a shiny yet vapid experience that will be sold to you as ‘exciting’, ‘tailor made’, and ‘we do cocktails now.’ Realistically, you’re being fleeced to the highest order by a company that is so out of touch to the regular whisky fan that they may as well build the thing on the fucking moon. This is the same for Port Ellen and Brora. Brands that have been built on the idea of storing liquids rather than opening them. Welcome to the new world of luxury where it’s about the experience and not the taste.

And before anyone turns around and says ‘oh, but you can just save up to go.’ It’s a distillery, not a watch or a car. You should never have to save an extreme level of money to be able to enjoy the origin point of your hobby and enthusiasm. Sort it out Dalmore.

Something that has been pointed out to me by a few people who read this article, some who don’t even think about whisky in their lives, noted that this is the epitome of what is happening to the average hobby enthusiast, and indeed that average person in the world. Bottles have to be lotteried or balloted because speculative investors need to find alternative investment platforms. Petrol and diesel are through the roof because of illegal wars and war profiteering. The cost of food is spiralling, and the notion of a tiny personal indulgence is a no-go know for a lot of people.

Don’t worry, though. Dalmore will give you as much time as you want in the boutique. It should no longer be referred to as a distillery, this is an experience. An experience that the likes of you and I can’t afford.